Friday, March 22, 2013

Black knights

As is becoming abundantly clear in the wake of the PyCon debacle, women are not actually the primary problem with regards to the female tendency to upset every applecart in which they come into contact.  They can only wreak the havoc they do because their white knights condone, support, and defend their destructive behavior.

To counteract the deleterious influence of these white knights, black knights are needed.  By which I mean men who are capable of mastering the bureaucratic force to which women readily resort in the dark art of corporate ninjitsu.

What does that mean?  It means acting exactly like a woman would every single time a female coworker does something that would result in a complaint to the employment authority if a male coworker did it.  The purpose is not to get the female coworker fired, but rather, work towards shutting down the abusive system by utilizing it to its full extent.  When faced with absurdity, the correct response is to push the pedal to the metal and aucto ad absurdum.

Let me give you an example.  I can't provide any details, due to the organization's rules, but I can paint a general picture.  There was a discussion of a proposed system that was, due to its nature, intrinsically unfair.  Simply by expressing an intention to utilize the system to its fullest, which intention thereby illustrated its fundamental absurdity, was enough to convince at least some of the people involved that the whole concept was best abandoned.

Many, if not most, women make shameless use of their sexual power at work.  It is to their advantage and they are able to do so because men enjoy it and permit them to freely utilize it. This is short-sighted on the part of the men who are entirely vulnerable to the speech and thought police in HR.  So, the system has to be taken down, and it can easily be taken down in any organization by keeping two core HR principles in mind.

1.  women are not to be held responsible for their actions
2.  women are equal to men

Women are not be able to restrain themselves any better than men can; they will inevitably make inappropriate comments and display themselves in inappropriate ways.  So, each time a female coworker crosses any of the clear HR-defined lines, in any way, the black knight will immediately go to his superior as well as HR and express how her behavior is making him uncomfortable and so forth.  You know the drill.

The average woman affected in this manner is going to be upset, humiliated, full of wrath and likely, as women are wont, to double down on her behavior.  Two or three complaints should be enough to provoke a vulgar, public outburst that even the most feminist HR department determined to see, hear, and speak no female evil will be unable to sweep under the rug.  Once she is gone or transferred, smile, be charming, and patiently await the next victim to step over the line.

Be sure to document every complaint and meeting.  That way, if the women in HR try to turn things around on the black knight, he will have a case for going directly after HR lest the corporation find itself facing an obvious wrongful termination situation in which the victim has been blamed.  Remember, the black knight doesn't make the rules, he merely masters them and apply them to his maximal benefit in every situation.

The various white knights will attempt to belittle and minimize every female violation of company policy, of course, that is what white knights do.  But it is the duty, to say nothing of the pleasure, of every black knight to subvert and defeat their best efforts.

114 comments:

Soga said...

Sounds like a fun and enjoyable way to whit away the time in the office.

Black-knighting: wholesome fun for the family!

Anonymous said...

Interesting post. I routinely call women out on any behaviour that would, if done by a man, be considered 'inappropriate'.

I don't work in an office, so there is no going to HR. The situations tend to be at events, bars, etc. I call them out in a humorous way and women, at least if they are being charmed, get the point.

I doubt it has much impact on their behaviour away from me, but it's a small step. Plus, men around me will nod in agreement. I simply want women to see that there is a double standard...in favour of them.

It's a bit like the comment "men are no longer chivalrous" to which I reply "women gave that up when they got the vote...I thought women believe in equality"?

In any case, playing Black Knight should be enjoyable...that way, you will keep it up and infect other men with the pleasure of calling women out.

- Apollyon

Ian Ironwood said...

LOVE IT! I've been posting regular Office Game posts about this sort of thing, and I love the concept of the Black Knight. I've known a few, actually, and the best one I knew was a black gay man. The women in the office made the mistake of thinking that just because he was gay and friendly, that he was a surrogate woman . . . but instead he was a vindictive queen with deep-seated issues with women and a law degree. I watched him get five women fired over a six-month period of time through strategic use of HR policies, particularly the sexual harassment. By the time I left the company, his department (which had been 80% female when I got there) was about 40% female, and falling.

Sure, he may have just been doing it to improve the eye-candy around him. But damn, the department worked a lot better and a lot more quietly.

More Black Knights, gentlemen. We need specialists.

dh said...

Isn't this passive aggressive beta at it's worst?

Isn't the alpha plan to tell the HR department to screw, and go into business against your former employer?

Shimshon said...

Vox, I'm sure you would agree that not only are women not able to restrain themselves any more than men, but they are less capable of doing so when provoked. And it is very easy to provoke them. The more invested in the feminist mindset they are, the easier it is. I am sure it would be trivially easy to provoke a corporate drone-ette to resort to un-PC enough language to warrant some response, without saying anything actionable on the giving side.

This suggestion brings to mind a strategy I read not too long ago about prisoners in the Soviet Gulag. Apparently, there was a bureaucratic requirement that every single complaint, no matter how trivial, had to be acted on, and some prisoners figured out that they could submit complaint after complaint until the prison warden gave in to whatever trivial request they made. I don't remember the details. But it was something like that. So, this is a good strategy, and considering how like the gulag large corporations are, especially vis a vis rules, it's a great idea.

Shimshon said...

@Ian your posts on office antics, and your manipulation thereof, are classic.

Daniel said...

Isn't the alpha plan to tell the HR department to screw, and go into business against your former employer?

Of course not, or at least, not necessarily, unless that's what the alpha wants to do. If alpha wants to correct a process, this is the way to go about doing it.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

The problem with this plan is that HR is usually run by women who will automatically defend their fellow sisters at all costs.

Unless your sex rank is higher than all the women in your office, in which case, you wouldn't bother being a black knight.

VD said...

Isn't this passive aggressive beta at it's worst?

Not in the slightest. BETAs act out of fear. Moreover, this isn't "passive aggressive" at all. It is powerfully confrontational. The BETA position is "I can't do that, if I go to HR and complain, I'LL get fired. So, it's really best that I sit here on my butt doing nothing."

The problem with this plan is that HR is usually run by women who will automatically defend their fellow sisters at all costs.

That's like saying "the problem with this plan is that water is wet". Of course they will. And, as I've already pointed out, "at all costs" likely means getting the people in the HR department fired.

Eoin MacAodh said...

Have to be careful. This could end like that instance with the woman "too hot to be a banker", who was fired for being distracting at work. Got lionized in the media for it, too.

Ian Ironwood said...

You can't use a traditional mating Alpha/Beta mindset in Office Game. Because policies and procedures don't respond to that . . . but the people who implement and enforce them do.

When a soccer player plays American football for the first time, he can argue that it's unfair that the other side gets to use their hands . . . or he can adapt his play to the rules of the game and win. I prefer winning. If they make the rules of the game petty, feminine and unbearingly tedious, it is an attempt to shake us from our game. Playing by those rules isn't Beta; losing by those rules is Beta.

Winning is Alpha.

Doom said...

I have my doubts as to the efficacy, given the double double standard. I think the only reason the "friend" of Ian's plan worked was because he was higher on the affirmative action food chain chart. Still, if a guy is bored and isn't worried about his job it would be worth a shot.

As to it being a beta thing? If you are working in an office, I have to think you are beta at best, if you might be a PUA is a side thing, a dog and pony trick. I could be wrong, but... it just doesn't sound like an alpha job, at least if you are hobnobbing with many of office mobs other than your secretary or personal assistant and your partners.

Anonymous said...

Even if you can get women held to the same standard, which is questionable, I think you are underestimating the system's capacity for absurdity. In any case there are 1000 white knights for every black knight, so a battle trading blow for blow will be lost in no time through attrition

swiftfoxmark2 said...

That's like saying "the problem with this plan is that water is wet". Of course they will. And, as I've already pointed out, "at all costs" likely means getting the people in the HR department fired.

HR people don't get fired. They simply disappear after having babies.

Ian Ironwood said...

"In any case there are 1000 white knights for every black knight, so a battle trading blow for blow will be lost in no time through attrition

Yeah, but the White Knights are, by definition, cowards. They'll gallantly defend all femininity . . . right up until they get a serious challenge. If they know that a professional, social, financial or literal ass-kicking is the price they will pay for the battle, most won't stick their necks out that far for the women they defend.

And the Dark Side has cookies.

Bob Wallace said...

This works, because I've done it. The squeaky wheel gets the greases. In two places I've worked the women would gather and gossip about relationships. I complained I consider this oppression and sexual harassment. They stopped.

The problem with this is that YOU FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT. You also feel like a coward.

Years ago some guy threatened me at work and I made him back down and walk away. He complained about me - and lied. Nothing happened, not even to him after the true story came out.

But only did I think he was a coward; he was a coward. And that's how I felt complaining: petty and cowardly. But I did it anyway.

Remo said...

So the obvious question is - is it even worth it? The system in broken and absurd already. Unless you want to make this your full time job to destroy company A why bother? Just quit and go into business for yourself or move overseas where offices tend toward sanity. Yes I can see why some might find the above entertaining but personally I'd rather grab a spot on one of the few life boats remaining than waste my time drilling yet more holes in the bottom of the Titanic.

Eric said...

Moreover, as we all know: the black knight always triumphs.

Suzanne McCarley said...

"Passive aggressive?" As in "not quite manly (alpha) enough?" Doesn't that imply a rather narrow definition of "Alpha," completely excluding subtlety and brilliant strategy?

It would require a great deal of courage to become a Black Knight, because initially one would very likely be perceived by his colleagues as a whiner. That's some scary shit right there. However if he has the guts to follow through on his commitment to his own principles) it wouldn't take long for his "work" to be recognized for what it is.

The Black Knight would soon be recognized as having more power than almost anyone in his company (or at least his department.) Female predators and their cowardly White Knights would fear him, everyone else would respect him, and Management would then wonder why morale and productivity are on the rise.

(BTW, I have a secret fantasy of becoming an HR operative in order to seek out, aid, and abet potential Black Knights. I think we'd see a lot more of them if knew they had a little support. This shit's all in the Employee Manuals, but too many men have forgotten how to read between the lines. I could see myself as a sort of "literacy coach.")

MrGreenMan said...

The Black Knight promise of a better future: Maybe I'll find on the way down the line that I'm free to be me.

ajw308 said...

Unless you want to make this your full time job to destroy company A why bother?

The Black Knight isn't the one that created the HR department nor is he the one that's writing policy. How can you hold him accountable for that?

The HR department will do what it's going to do. He's merely helping it be fair. If that's a bad thing, than maybe it's for the good of the company that he's helping show the failings so they can be rectified.

At the very least, he'll help slow down or get rid of an instigator.

earl said...

The black knight also happens to be my favorite chess piece.

It is the wild card.

Vidad said...

1000-1 on White Knights to Black Knights?

Heck no. The ratio is a lot better than that... particularly once you surreptitiously sound out support from the silent.

That's like claiming "racism" is almost gone because white people don't say "nigger" any more. Oh no... the attitudes are there... and you can readily find disapproval of sagging pants and welfare mommas in even the most prancing liberal circles.

Vidad said...

When I used to work in an office setting, I floated above the rules via turning on the charm. I gathered connections, built a resume, then fly the coop to go freelance.

I have Beta friends that self-destructed, though. They were constantly having issues with the office gals - who were, quite predictably, total bitches. Just not to me. Show weakness or neediness and the claws come out. Be teasing and non-committal, with the occasional "nice work, gal," and you floated above.

Michael Maier said...

Eric: "Moreover, as we all know: the black knight always triumphs. "


It's a fair cop.

earl said...

Besides an honor code is among men. I don't go blabbing every little thing a guy does...I only care about the important stuff.

Don't think for a second a woman won't go "black knight" on you when she feels whatever offense she has that day. The minute some juicy info hits their brain their mouth has to tell somebody.

ar10308 said...

This guy is about as Black Knight as you can be without being Batman.

Http://theverge.com/2013/3/21/4131174/fallon-fox-mma-science-transgender-fighting-athletes

Anonymous said...

A great example of Black Knighting:

In an IT company, my buddy was a developer and I was a designer. Our manager was a woman who was over sensitive. Once, my developer friend said something about "reaching around" her authority. It wasn't even intended as a sexual reference, but she immediately went to HR. He didn't get fired, but it was a VERY close thing.

So, I decided to defend myself (she didn't like me either) by proactively complaining about her bullshit. She would sit on my desk, often enough... I complained that I felt uncomfortable with her in that position. When she made jokes, I complained that they were offensive to me, and of a sexual nature. When she dressed provocatively (as she often did) I complained that it violated HR dress code policy. One day, she lost it completely and started yelling at me in front of everyone, completely irrationally, for no reason at all. She was fired the next week.

So Vox has a great point here. The best defense against an HR attack is a good offense.

VD said...

She would sit on my desk, often enough... I complained that I felt uncomfortable with her in that position. When she made jokes, I complained that they were offensive to me, and of a sexual nature. When she dressed provocatively (as she often did) I complained that it violated HR dress code policy. One day, she lost it completely and started yelling at me in front of everyone, completely irrationally, for no reason at all. She was fired the next week.

That is textbook Black Knighting. Read it. Learn it. Live it.

Vidad said...

"She would sit on my desk, often enough... I complained that I felt uncomfortable with her in that position. When she made jokes, I complained that they were offensive to me, and of a sexual nature. When she dressed provocatively (as she often did) I complained that it violated HR dress code policy."

I would have a really hard time complaining with a straight face.

Boogeyman said...

Trying real hard not to make a Monty Python/Holy Grail reference...

Cail Corishev said...

I have my doubts as to the efficacy, given the double double standard.

Same here. In many companies, it would be like trying to out-Democrat the Democrats, for example. When Democrats call Republicans stupid and make a thousand jokes about "potatoe," some Republicans try to fight fire with fire by making up web pages of Democrats saying even stupider things. It never works, because the people making the rules and deciding what becomes a meme don't let it.

Unless you're a critical worker that your company can't do without, I'd say there's a good chance that upsetting the apple cart like this will simply get you fired. They'll just make up what they have to -- that's what all those harassment laws and books full of regulations are for -- and you'll be the one on the street. I could see this working in individual situations with a woman who seems like it wouldn't take much to push her over the edge, like the one Anonymous talked about a few comments up. But in general, unless you have the upper hand somehow, it sounds like trying to beat them at their own game -- a game where they make the rules and provide the deck.

I loved Ian's story about his writing notebook, and how it drove the women crazy. But if I recall correctly, didn't he get let go, even though he was by far the most productive worker and did absolutely nothing against the rules?

tz said...

The term for this is Malicious Compliance

It is the most fun game that can be played against bureaucrats.

I don't have the same problem, but the HOA where I'm staying has become strict. I found an interesting but obscure federal law that overrides HOA rules. What will eventually happen will likely get the guestapo lady to resign or be fired.

As to women, there have been enough posts on how they speak first out of feelings before they think. This can be overcome with discipline, but few women even attempt it as they are "validated" when they say or do something crazy. Provocation can work with men who are rabbits too but is a bit harder.

hjablome said...

dh said...

Isn't the alpha plan to tell the HR department to screw, and go into business against your former employer?

No, the alpha plan is to pick one's battles wisely, and to win by subterfuge where possible. Go read Sun Tzu.

hjablome said...

tz said...

I found an interesting but obscure federal law that overrides HOA rules.

Do tell.

Inane Rambler said...

Everytime I see the term 'Black Knight', all I can think about is this Pinball song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCKDvjVzpNQ

Greg Swann said...

Tu quoque. Two wrongs make a right. Base motives always wear these two masks. You will not rid the world of cannibals by eating them.

Michael Maier said...

Crap! I lost my comment.... thought I posted it.

(We have some not-too-observant folks here, too.)

I almost emailed Vox a few months back regarding this very thing. I could really make my cow-workers' lives very uncomfortable and un-fun and have been sorely tempted to do so.

Hell, if I just BCC my boss' boss on all the emails I send her for issues she ignores, she'd probably get something caught in a ringer.

I just don't know that it would really be worth it. It just feels cowardly to go running to her boss or HR, even if those are the rules.

VD said...

Tu quoque. Two wrongs make a right.

Surely you can't possibly mean to suggest that insisting your fellow coworkers abide by corporate policy is a wrong!

When I was in college, my roommates and I stood up to a woman who reported us for sexual harassment and called us "sexist pornographers". She ended up being sentenced to pick up trash around the campus.

You have two choices, men. Cower for the rest of your professional lives and hope you won't be targeted by a lunatic or strike back intelligently at its abusers.

Do I really need to spell out which is the more Alpha option?

ray said...

black-knighting doesnt work, practically, because all the environments (employment, academia, government, family) are already much too far gone into fem-fascism

if you try playing the woman/abuse/victim game as a male, you'll simply be shut down, and usually shamed, to boot

try making, and following an EEOC complaint thru as a male in amerika

lol youll figure out real quick how much the "turnabout" tactic works... and how eager the nice ladies at EEOC (HR, etc etc) are to see that justsis is done to the Evil Male (thatd be you)

guys have been trying to black-knight for decades, but you cannot get around the Open Season on Males structures, in the vast majority of cases youll simply be ignored, or your complaint will rebound, and be used against you

once the grrls in the office (esp govt offices) discover you have ANY shred of masculinity, or worse that you dont subjugate yourself to the SSterhood, you will become the target, and they are experts at using their institutional authority to destroy you . . . or at least, get you fired, make your life miserable, etc

there is no easy way out of the Gynogulag

if black-knighting was a valid way out, guys would have been doing it since the Eighties, when the whole Beat-down went full-scale

laws, administrative rules, college guidelines, ad infinitum, are there for the purpose of female power and vengeance, NOT for YOUR protection and use, dummy doods

ANY interaction with Babylon and her Sistems (employment, school, family) leaves you vulnerable to her will, individual or collective

VD said...

I just don't know that it would really be worth it. It just feels cowardly to go running to her boss or HR, even if those are the rules.

That is your inner delta talking. It's not the running to her boss that is cowardly, it is not doing so because you are concerned about the potential risks.

ALPHAS confront. ALPHAS take risk. BETAS worry about the potential consequences. BETAS always try to rationalize inaction.

VD said...

guys have been trying to black-knight for decades, but you cannot get around the Open Season on Males structures, in the vast majority of cases youll simply be ignored, or your complaint will rebound, and be used against you

No, they haven't. They've been sitting there telling themselves that they won't be believed, that the consequences will be bad, that the rules will be applied unfairly.

I don't know of a single situation where a man who used the system adroitly ended up losing out. I'm sure it has happened, but far less often than an unsuspecting man has been blitzed by a woman using it.

Granted, it has to be used adroitly, and in the full knowledge that every excuse to not hold a woman accountable will be made, but that's a given.

It's all about intimidation. The whole point is to prevent men from using the system.

VD said...

I just don't know that it would really be worth it. It just feels cowardly to go running to her boss or HR, even if those are the rules.

Here is another hint. What sex tends to be more guided by its feelings than its intellect?

Double E said...

I've always been decent at this. Not necessarily in regards to HR type gender relations, but just using bureaucracy's own petty rules against them.

I used to work in a distribution center, and any time I was called out for violating some petty safety rule (like stepping on a pallet) I would instantly start following every single ridiculous safety rule to the letter for the rest of the day (Like calling management for assistance to "team lift" any box over 30lbs). Of course the trucks I had to unload were thousands of boxes, so it would cost them huge amounts of time. They got the picture soon enough. Worked great.

Double E said...

Ray said: "guys have been trying to black-knight for decades, but you cannot get around the Open Season on Males structures, in the vast majority of cases youll simply be ignored, or your complaint will rebound, and be used against you"

No they haven't. They have been trying to beat the system. Not use the system to their advantage.

Greg Swann said...

> Surely you can't possibly mean to suggest that insisting your fellow coworkers abide by corporate policy is a wrong!

Taking an action you know in advance is morally wrong according to your own hierarchy of values is evil, this because it is self-destructive -- you will have seen yourself behaving in a way you yourself regard as being shameful.

The argument itself -- "Har! Har! Let's give 'em a taste of their own medicine!" -- is not rare. Glenn Reynolds can't go a day without campaigning for a policy of soiling-yourself-in-the-name-of-virtue. But it remains that you will not make yourself good by behaving inadmirably.

Athor Pel said...

The only women that ever gave me crap were those I rejected.

One of those was at work. We were all contractors, no real HR department to escalate to, and 90% men. I told my side of the story and she got let go.

rycamor said...

Greg Swann said...

But it remains that you will not make yourself good by behaving inadmirably.


If you can make others better by holding them to their own standards, I suggest that it is your moral obligation to do so.

VD said...

Taking an action you know in advance is morally wrong according to your own hierarchy of values is evil, this because it is self-destructive -- you will have seen yourself behaving in a way you yourself regard as being shameful.

There is nothing morally wrong about reporting wrongdoing. Now, normally I wouldn't bother reporting petty violations of corporate policy. But the rules of the game are to hold others accountable for every violation, no matter how petty.

So play by the rules. Otherwise, you're like an NFL coach refusing to throw those newfangled forward passes.

VD said...

The argument itself -- "Har! Har! Let's give 'em a taste of their own medicine!" -- is not rare.

You're completely missing the point. It's not about "har har" anything. It's not about getting anyone back. The point is that IF you hold everyone accountable to the absurd rules, THEN the rules will be abandoned.

If you don't, they will continue to be selectively applied against men for the benefit of those women who understand the game.

ray said...

"No, they haven't. They've been sitting there telling themselves that they won't be believed, that the consequences will be bad, that the rules will be applied unfairly."


your Brilliant Idea, o SuperIntelligence, was attempted by quite a few guys in the Eighties, and failed for the reasons i attested (grievance systems, like the Law, exist as tools for females to use, not males)



"I don't know of a single situation where a man who used the system adroitly ended up losing out. I'm sure it has happened, but far less often than an unsuspecting man has been blitzed by a woman using it."


you desperately want the Sistem to work, even tho it does not work (and, in fact, is demonstrably and consistently evil)

just to take one element, the EEOC 25 years ago already was structured to ignore male complaints, and the men who'd been screwed-over by their fem-ruled work environments got nothing but laughs from the Career Female employees at the "equal" opportunity commission

of couse, unlike You, they weren't ALPHA and adroit and courageous enough! lol

'cause if it had been the SuperIntelligence filing those grieveances, then baby, the heads would roll in the Matriarchy!

you, as SuperIntelligence, along with supplicati, know better, not having lived through any of it, not having experienced the educational and employment environments in the late Seventies and early/mid Eighties

you didnt think this up, there, Mr. Pro, all you did was give a cool new name (blacknighting) to a tactic that has failed, and will fail now, as ALL the institutional structures "receiving" your complaints are long since co-opted

you are not going to Game the Sistem out of itself, they were already prepared for your Blacknighting 25 YEARS AGO genius

but certainly! because You are You, and ever so superior to and different from all those other Lesser Males whose complaints were already laughed out of the HR Dept and Dean's Offices all over amerika, and because You said it's going to work, doubtless reality will be overturned and the amerikan workplaces, schools, and "law" courts will now accept, and act favorably upon, male complaints of harrassment and discrimination

heh

happycrow said...

Yup. Been there, filed the harassment complaint. The rules are the rules; if you don't apply them, that's on you, not some other nebulous party.

Sigyn said...

Shh, Vox. You're interrupting ray's pity party.

Cail Corishev said...

The point is that IF you hold everyone accountable to the absurd rules, THEN the rules will be abandoned.

That's where you lose me. You may win the occasional battle, but no, the rules won't be abandoned. That's because they aren't rules, they're doctrines. Doctrines can't be dropped; they can only be reinterpreted by the clerical class to eliminate any use they find improper. They can apply double-standards without blinking.

An example: Schools have gotten so bad that millions of parents now go to the trouble and expense of homeschooling. Have the schools reconsidered the way they do things, tried to reduce the liberal bias, returned to tried-and-true teaching methods, or eliminated controversial classes like sex ed? No, they've just doubled-down by demanding more money and accusing opponents of racism or other -isms. The people who run schools will let the schools close and be put out of a job before they give up their education dogmas. No one in any HR department is ever going to say, "You know, maybe we should get rid of these anti-harassment rules."

By all means, use the system to get rid of an obviously crazy woman when you can, or just to have fun screwing with them if you can afford it. But the HR/EEOC/OSHA/harassment system isn't going anywhere (at least not until the whole economy truly crashes and we can't afford it anymore). After all, if we didn't have those departments, where would women work in most companies?

Anonymous said...

Vox this post is really making me feel uncomfortable.

Brian said...

Vox this post is really making me feel uncomfortable.

Says the poster too cowardly to post using a name.

Anonymous said...

Brian, I am recording this conversation.

Don't be hostile with your sarcastic microagression.

Ian Ironwood said...

Gentlemen, here's a lovely piece of Black Knighting you can try in your offices, if you have the cash and the stones for it. It only works in offices where the majority of the staff is female.

Arrange to have flowers delivered to the front desk at 8:00 am Monday morning, with a card that reads: "For the hottest girl in the office". Pay in cash or by untraceable gift card. See who takes them home.

Stand back and watch the entertainment.

For bonus points, the next Monday send one to "The prettiest girl in the office." Then "To the bitchiest girl in the office." Then "to the smartest girl in the office". Then "to the sluttiest girl in the office". One a week . . . until the department either self-destructs or (you'll love this) all floral deliveries get banned.

I mean, it's not that most of them are going to get flowers . . . but tell them that they can never get flowers and you'll see a collective pout that will give you a warm, tingly feeling inside.

Ian Ironwood said...

And it's not about revenge. If you make it about revenge, then you look like a dick. It's always about ACCOUNTABILITY. If you keep the focus on accountability, HR folks squirm, because the normal HR department just doesn't have the resources to enforce and regulate ALL applicable regulations. By default, selective enforcement happens, with plenty of stuff slipping through the cracks.

Don't let it slip through the cracks . . . and be sure to document the hell out of everything. Check your state's local laws concerning wiretapping and where possible and legal record the conversation on your cell phone.

Accountability. One thing nearly every woman fears. Mention accountability, and they almost all get nervous. The ones who don't either have nothing to fear, or everything so why bother.

Everyone else is secretly shitting their pants that someone is someday going to hold them accountable for what they've done or not done. Most of them already have scapegoats mentally lined up for any particular element they're aware of, and most suspect that there's stuff they should be aware of that they're not.

Accountability is the leverage you need to counteract Diversity. No one can argue against accountability. That's like arguing in favor of lying. And if it comes down to a matter of Diversity or Accountability . . . well, we both know one leads to success and profitability, and one doesn't.

Sigyn said...

Arrange to have flowers delivered to the front desk at 8:00 am Monday morning, with a card that reads: "For the hottest girl in the office". Pay in cash or by untraceable gift card. See who takes them home.

It's a plan straight out of the Iliad. Even better if you get picked to judge the ensuing pageant, amirite?

swiftfoxmark2 said...

Instead of Black Knights, can it be Ebony Knights?

You know, so it's not so racist...

tz said...

@hjablome It was at consumerist.com, you can display an american flag (properly) anywhere, anytime, anyhow, and the HOA cannot legally do anything about it.

http://consumerist.com/2013/02/27/condo-association-taking-heat-for-telling-soldier-to-take-down-american-flag/

(which includes a link to the law).

Christians need to alpha-up. Name any saint who didn't confront, oppose, risk, even sacrifice against evil.

But it is not merely saints. Consider Mordred. Arthur made adultery a capital crime. Mordred exposed Guinevere's adultery - so it was kill the queen or kill the law. The EEOC doesn't like double standards either, but everyone has a sense of fairness and wants to play by the rules, meaning the rule of law.

By channeling your inner Mordred, you force your HR department to either admit is is merely a stupid feminist front that is simply anti-male (which is unlikely), or force them to eject a scape-nanny-goat (yes, guilty but still) to preserve the veneer of fairness and objectivity. What do you expect the not crazy or stupid (they have enough time to reflect and have nothing to gain with feminazi purity) Machiavelli-ettes to do?

ray said...

Shh, Vox. You're interrupting ray's pity party


how about you say it to my face, pussyboy?

tz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tz said...

@ray - I thought the GOP was the pity party.

tz said...

Vox this post is really making me feel uncomfortable.

Then find a stuffed purple rabbit with pink t-shirt to hug (easier as Easter approaches). You will be less non-plushed.

(many riffs on "post" not included).

Anonymous said...

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do this, guys!!
Don't let the petty, horrific, sorry excuses for women make the rest of us look bad by using the system to their advantage, waving their "woman" card wherever they go!
As a woman who can't stand this behavior, I will help ANY black knights I see.
I can't stand people of any sort who game the system, so if you see it, and you you start taking notes of these "women," I will gladly help.
And, of course, they hate women like me because I won't play their game...

Bob Wallace said...

"guys have been trying to black-knight for decades"

No they haven't. It's always been considered petty, cowardly, backstabbing and unmanly - complaining over petty shit, like women. But these days, it has to be done.

Jacob Ian Stalk said...

It's moments like these I like to quote Asterix the Gaul.

"The only thing we have to fear is the sky falling on our heads."

It's all about accountability, as the previous commenter adroitly explained. Men are needed to keep women accountable for their bad behaviour. It's not for the faint-hearted, but then, you know, men are not women.

@Glenn Schwann
Sounds like you're afraid to do what God commands. It's OK to be afraid, but do it anyway.

@ray
VD's idea is clearly not for you. The black knight approach he's proposed is both smart and necessary but only for men who have sufficient grasp of logic and self-control. It helps if they fear nothing but the sky falling on their heads.

mmaier2112 said...

"That is your inner delta talking. It's not the running to her boss that is cowardly, it is not doing so because you are concerned about the potential risks."

No, it's knowing I don't want to be in a joyless suckhole of an office.

Now with my boss... I'm almost tempted to start becoming a rules lawyer. But from my own limited exposure to HR idiocy, they're only interested in showing that they "did their job" and not actually accomplishing anything. So I certainly do not trust that anyone in HR or management will have my back, even if they "have to", by policy or even by law. (That's federal parasites for you...)

So it's possible that, at best, I could be stuck in a limbo where everybody's attitude just sucks and no one's getting hung out to dry for their stupidity anyway.

I've never had a problem smacking my bosses down. I know how to speak bureaucrat-ese well enough for results... when it matters.


But with the cow-workers.. I guess I don't have enough of the Cruelty Artist DNA. It's just easier to not interact with folks and get work done. My music is better company than most of them anyway.

I sure don't miss hearing chatter about TV shows I don't watch.

After getting a few too many knives in the back, I don't simply do not tolerate shitty behavior from folks. Someone displays obnoxious behavior, they become a nothing. I simply have no need to interact with bitchy people.

Though it's amazing how flimsy the excuses to re-engage me have been. How amazingly I'm "the only person that can help" with their work issues and the such.

Heck, last year, having a woman that did her best to burn her bridges nearly in tears because I'd become a brick wall (albeit a 100% professional one) actually made me LOL in her face. Pissed her off even more, but it was absurd. That was a fun exchange. (Huh. Maybe I do have some AWCA potential...)

JackTheManiac said...

Vox,

Please take out your sword and baptize me Knight.

I shall henceforth be know as

Black Jack the Maniac, Knight of Madness.

Anonymous said...

be sure to document the hell out of everything. Check your state's local laws concerning wiretapping and where possible and legal record the conversation on your cell phone.

This. This is why Ian's notebook was so effective, because the women knew how potentially powerful it was. Other ways include e-mailing yourself, including attachments (photos, memos, copies of other e-mails) in order to get an official time stamp on the entries. Just make sure to use this as only a document/evidence repository, and to note any personal observations and 'feelings' in a separate notebook in case your e-mail starts getting snooped (which is another hilarious can of worms to be opened - and you will know if it happens because they will be unable to keep their mouths shut about it).

how about you say it to my face, pussyboy?

Hey, hey, big guy
Here's a tissue if you need to cry.

Wade said...

"how about you say it to my face, pussyboy?"

Just so you know, you're trying to stand up to a female. Not to mention, her guy doesn't like humans who don't kneel.

Shawnesy said...

If you want a nice example of being a black knight, alpha style, watch the film Hara-Kiri. It features a couple of down-on-their-luck samurai, one of whom is forced into a terrible act by a ruthless, arrogant samurai clan. The hero confronts the clan by holding them to the rules they follow and the honor they claim to have. Because of this even though he is outnumbered he is able to hold his own against them for quite some time. it's quite masterful.

There's a remake that's currently streamable on Netflix. It's not bad but I still prefer the original. In fact, while watching it I noticed several examples throughout the film of rules being forced on people for ill.

One of the best Samurai films all the time.

Anonymous said...

"Then find a stuffed purple rabbit with pink t-shirt to hug (easier as Easter approaches). You will be less non-plushed."

Homophobic and prejudiced against the differently-colored too. This is scandalous. You are probably a terrorist.

Sigyn said...

how about you say it to my face, pussyboy?

You don't want that, seeing as I'm not a boy. I might use my Girl Power(tm) on you!

Anyway, dude, a pity party's a pity party. I've never seen you post anything that can't be summed up as "Woe is me!" Just own it already.

Anonymous said...

I've never been more grateful for an all masculine profession

Ton

Greg Swann said...

> There is nothing morally wrong about reporting wrongdoing.

Quoted verbatim from "Things nine-year-old girls say"?

> The point is that IF you hold everyone accountable to the absurd rules, THEN the rules will be abandoned.

As before, you will not rid the world of cannibals by eating them. Worse, Marxism grows by assimilating all opposition to itself. The HR Nazis will be more than happy to have you give them more power.

Tu Quoque ("They do it, too!") and Two Wrongs Make a Right are logical fallacies -- not clever "gotchas!" in debate but reliable paths to error. Whatever benefit do you expect to repeat in exchange for deliberately inducing error in your mind and then acting upon that error, I can assure you that the permanent destruction you do to your self-image will exceed your anticipated gain.

Huge news: Crime does not pay.

Even better news: Free men stand alone.

I'm glad I took the time to talk to you.

Maximo Macaroni said...

There's a book for this situation, written, oddly enough, by a woman: "Thick Face, Black Heart". It opens with a champion martial arts fighter crawling through the legs of a totally inferior street punk who had challenged him, just because he preferred to avoid the inconvenience of being put in prison for killing the punk, which he could easily have done. He totally ignored the conventional ideas of shame to achieve his goal. I believe that's alpha.

Anonymous said...

That's where you lose me. You may win the occasional battle, but no, the rules won't be abandoned. That's because they aren't rules, they're doctrines. Doctrines can't be dropped; they can only be reinterpreted by the clerical class to eliminate any use they find improper. They can apply double-standards without blinking.

Perhaps it is a historical example, when these trends weer not as solidified, but when Theodore Roosevelt was Police Commissioner of New York City, he uniformly and aggressively enforced the laws regarding bars...thus depriving Tammany Hall of a lot of their patronage, since they would go for selective enforcement against political enemies. It was vastly unpopular with the public, and he said, "I'm simply enforcing the law. Once the law changes, I'll enforce the new law." And soon enough, it did. (Paraphrasing an incident from The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, which I cannot look up.)

Toby Temple said...

Huge news: Crime does not pay.

Even better news: Free men stand alone.


In other news: Greg Swann is stupid.

Quoted verbatim from "Things nine-year-old girls say"?

So you claim that reporting a wrong doing is immoral?

As before, you will not rid the world of cannibals by eating them. Worse, Marxism grows by assimilating all opposition to itself. The HR Nazis will be more than happy to have you give them more power.

So making HR task for tedious will make HR personnel happy?

Tu Quoque ("They do it, too!") and Two Wrongs Make a Right are logical fallacies -- not clever "gotchas!" in debate but reliable paths to error.

Games and there rules. If you are playing the game, you play by the rules. And you play to win.

Toby Temple said...

correction - So making HR tasks MORE tedious will make HR personnel happy?

Sigyn said...

So making HR tasks MORE tedious will make HR personnel happy?

He's never heard of rules lawyering.

rycamor said...

All you guys wringing hands over this because "the rules aren't interpreted the same for men" need to step back and think strategically.

Yes, black nighting is not for the timid or the socially inept. You cannot make a small jab and retreat or you will be hounded down and die the death of many cuts.

Remember the rabbit/wolf dichotomy. You are the wolf, but you must be adept at rabbit language to pull this off.

1. Maintain complete sincerity in what you are doing, and let them know that you expect fair and even treatment. They are scared to death of being seen for what they are. Yes, scared to death. What they fear more than anything else is publicity--their deeds being uncovered for all to see. That's why the man who backs down and lowers his eyes is the one who will have the book thrown at him, while the man who takes an attitude of completely above-board expectation that the rules will be applied to all, and *maintains that frame* will end up winning. The key is not to crack. Don't lose your temper, and don't cut a deal to brush things under the rug. Say "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do the right thing," etc...

(Of course, before you do any of this, you must be sure that your own behavior is exemplary according to the perceived rules, or at least, much better than that of those you are accusing.)

2. If you can't manage to keep a straight face while doing such a thing, don't do it. If you can't look someone in the eye frankly while making your complaints, don't do them. But if you can do this in a completely serious manner, and make them see that you will take it as far as it needs to go, they will cave. If they don't at first, just wait until the local news runs a story on it. The more outrageous the situation, the more some media channel will be drooling to pick it up.

3. Use rabbit language:

- It made me feel [X].
- It made me uncomfortable.
- I didn't know how to handle that sort of attention.
- How would you feel if [x]?
- I really don't want to get anyone in trouble, but...

And of course the first time you do this the response will be "Oh please, Mr. X. You can't be serious." to which you must respond "So, you're saying the rules are different for men? and of course the kicker: "Can I quote you on that?" Watch faces turn white.

Maximo Macaroni said...

Many black women in my office have photos of Obama in their cubicles. There's a rule forbidding displays of political allegiance. Of course, no one has ever said a word about this, but I have never seen a single photo of George Bush or Mitt Romney on display. How would a Black Knight attack this violation without being skewered, fired, condemned as a racist and, more important, not achieving the objective, that is, removing the Mocha Messiah's ikons?

ray said...


Anyway, dude, a pity party's a pity party. I've never seen you post anything that can't be summed up as "Woe is me!" Just own it already.


the Big Empowered Woman, bravely tossing insults from behind the (seeming) safety of her screen, while "alphagame" lapboys run to her rescue

"You cant hit me, I'm a girl! Ha Ha. That's Hate Speech, that's Verbal Harrassment. I'll have you arrested. But I can hit you! Tee-Hee! Aren't I plucky? Help, Mr. Policeman. HEEEEELLLPPP! OH please Mr. Biden, dear kind Mr. Obama, wont somebody save widdle me from the Evil Male?!"


Helen Smith just happened to write about you and the tactics of your Serpent Sisterhood (and the Big Tough Men who serve-n-protect you) --


"But none of those men will speak up, because they recognize the historically strong position of men in the corporate world and, again, don’t want to admit their own weakened position. No man wants to be branded a whiny antifeminist by the growing sisterhood of leaders who are women."


hm theres that "whiny" word you used, yeah thatll really stop me :O)

you and your Defenders seem v interested in proctecting that "growing sisterhood of leaders" eh?


how about you, Jacob Ian Stalk (and the Brave Anonymous)... are you pore little girls too? who cant be challenged when they run their uppity mouths? or are you just personal haters?


as for Sigyn and her SSisterhood, your days of stabbing in the back, then running to hide behind your Protectors is about over

praise the LORD, he knows what to do with you and your fellow travellers, just where to put you

looking forward to a very bright future!

VD said...

How would a Black Knight attack this violation without being skewered, fired, condemned as a racist and, more important, not achieving the objective, that is, removing the Mocha Messiah's ikons?

Go and ask for permission to put up a big Republican Name in 2016 sign in your office. When they say no, ask if you can put up a picture. When they say no, ask why it is permitted for X, Y, and Z to put up pictures of Obama.

If the policy isn't changed or if X, Y, and Z aren't told to take the pictures down, put up a giant picture of Obama in your office. I mean, a big poster.

Sigyn said...

the Big Empowered Woman, bravely tossing insults from behind the (seeming) safety of her screen, while "alphagame" lapboys run to her rescue

As opposed to the guy who doesn't know how to use his shift key, sitting behind the seeming safety of his screen, lobbing insults at the Big Empowered Woman.

What was your point again?

"You cant hit me, I'm a girl! Ha Ha. That's Hate Speech, that's Verbal Harrassment. I'll have you arrested. But I can hit you! Tee-Hee! Aren't I plucky? Help, Mr. Policeman. HEEEEELLLPPP! OH please Mr. Biden, dear kind Mr. Obama, wont somebody save widdle me from the Evil Male?!"

I was thinking about writing all that, but it seemed like a really over-the-top parody. Now I find out it's no parody of what you think all women are saying to you.

Helen Smith just happened to write about you

Did she mention me by name? It's no good if she didn't mention me by name.

and the tactics of your Serpent Sisterhood

Hey, now, I know my skin's getting a little dry these days, but let's not get carried away.

(and the Big Tough Men who serve-n-protect you) --

Who are not to be confused with the Big Tough Men who sit behind their computers crying about Big Scary Wimminz and trying to convince other guys to do the same.

"But none of those men will speak up, because they recognize the historically strong position of men in the corporate world and, again, don’t want to admit their own weakened position. No man wants to be branded a whiny antifeminist by the growing sisterhood of leaders who are women."

So because I point out that most of your comments, everywhere I've seen them, are centered around a "woe is me" attitude, that means I hate all men everywhere.

Okayyyyy.

hm theres that "whiny" word you used, yeah thatll really stop me :O)

Why would I want to stop you? I'm having fun poking you with sticks and watching you jump.

you and your Defenders seem v interested in proctecting that "growing sisterhood of leaders" eh?

Hey, that reminds me. Vidad, are you paid up on your Dane-geld to the Organization of Omnipotent Overladies, or do we have to send someone around to put a cat's head under your blankets to remind you?

as for Sigyn and her SSisterhood, your days of stabbing in the back, then running to hide behind your Protectors is about over

Hey, backstabbing is my husband's department. I use cast-iron skillets. Ask Nate.

praise the LORD, he knows what to do with you and your fellow travellers, just where to put you

Did you just really declare judgment on my immortal soul because I said you were having a pity party? Yikes.

looking forward to a very bright future!

Not if we get you first! *wiggles fingers* Oooooooo! COWER BEFORE MY FEMININE MIGHT OR ELSE I'LL HAVE THE POLICE SHOOT YOU!!!

Sigyn said...

Excuse me. I meant Wade, not Vidad. Boy, I'm tired.

Thucydides said...

Malicious Compliance needs to be applied at all levels of bureaucracy, and not just in the corporate world.

A related term I heard once is "Bureaucrash", and if that could be successfully applied at the Municipal, State and Federal level, academia and the media, then the destruction of the "Progressive" state will be assured.

Uncle Pavian said...

Good luck with that. Unless the Black Knights are paragons of efficiency and workplace virtue, they will be disposed of in short order once HR realizes what is going on. Among other things, filing hostile work environment complaints will soon be viewed as creating a hostile work environment. It may take a while, but feminist HR gauleiters will find a way to terminate any male who steps out of line.

Anonymous said...

There was a book a while back "Always the Black Knight" the protagonist dies at the end but not before winning the day. Sorry don't remember the author. But do not expect this strategy to be without cost, if your willing to pay it tho it becomes a whole new ballgame.

Anonymous said...

Isn't this basic Alinsky ? “The fourth rule is: Make the enemy live up to their own book of rules. You can kill them with this, for they can no more obey their own rules than the Christian church can live up to Christianity.”

Segesta said...

It's ninjutsu, not ninjitsu.

Sorry, just being a Pedantic Internet Dweeb.

ToursLepantoVienna said...

I'd prefer repealing the 19th Amendment, but I suppose one must start somewhere.

Suzanne McCarley said...

Hi Ray!

Steve McBogart said...

Vox, you have the makings of an epic novel here; it could be Fight Club for a new generation.

VD said...

Vox, you have the makings of an epic novel here; it could be Fight Club for a new generation.

I think that's a very good idea. I think I will do precisely that.

Unknown said...

Actually, I see a whole third kind of "Knighting" going on here; probably a subspecies of the "White Knight," but I will leave it to wiser heads to do the classification.

This type of knight engages in purity policing in order to keep men in their place. Call them Grey Knights; you don't have to actively defend women at all costs, you just have to make sure that any means of dealing with a woman behaving badly is seen as "unmanly." Woman commits paternity fraud? Well, "man up," and suck it up, a Real Man(tm)doesn't leave "Teh Childrenz" hanging in the wind.

All that has to be done for these folks to succeed, and serve the New Feminism, is to keep men in their roles; by insuring that the only courses a Real Man(tm) might take are ones that will play into the game whereby they may be eliminated, it keeps the New Feminists in charge, gaming the system in their favor.

This is a classic case of female manipulation; feminists agitate to eliminate from society or the workplace the shame of being unladylike, but keep strongly in place the shame of being ungentlemanly. The masculine tendency towards directness is one which women are disadvantaged in, so "rules" are put into place to define that directness as - by tautology - hostile, confrontational, unprofessional, and unacceptable, thus an offense meriting termination.

All that remains is to insure men keep charging directly into the no-win situation; and the best way to do this is to keep a clucking cadre of disapproving hens around; all of these hens hand-wring about how "awful" this state of affairs is, but reserve their greatest ire for the roosters who don't stick to their role.

The Grey Knights are the Roosters who White Knight for these hens.

Sigyn said...

Unless the Black Knights are paragons of efficiency and workplace virtue, they will be disposed of in short order once HR realizes what is going on.

Well, it's definitely not something to do as a contractor. They'll decline to renew your contract if they figure you're too much trouble.

But it's not hard to be a paragon, honestly. The standards are usually way lower than people are capable of. Most of playing that role in the workplace is being punctual, dressing just a bit sharper than anyone else, and not hovering around the water cooler for hours.

Granted, that's just my experience, but you're welcome to what little I know.

the league of baldheaded men said...

Can't disagree strongly enough with this:

"... It means acting exactly like a woman would every single time a female coworker does something that would result in a complaint to the employment authority if a male coworker did it...."

The concept of "black knights" in opposition to white knights is excellent and worthy, but not if it means playing the victim role as described above; even in some kind of subversive/memetic jujitsu manner.

This "tit for tat" victimology concedes the underlying ideology of equality. It gives the game away at the beginning. Think about the black knights of myth and legend. Dark aristocrats. "Mom, she hit me first" is not the way of the black knight.

Anonymous said...

Wow. The stench of misogyny is overwhelming. How pathetic you all are. I'd post under my usual handle, McCarty Griffin, but the profile choices don't allow for that.

Sigyn said...

Wow. The stench of misogyny is overwhelming. How pathetic you all are.

Lemme guess. You'd never sleep with anyone here, and you won't be coming back ever again?

I'd post under my usual handle, McCarty Griffin, but the profile choices don't allow for that.

Did you ever consider typing it in?

Frogwatch said...

What is this "office" place you mention and why would I choose to work in one? What is this "HR" entity? Why would a man choose a female co-worker who is hostile? This whole article is puzzling.

Frogwatch said...

What is this "office" place you mention and why would I choose to work in one? What is this "HR" entity? Why would a man choose a female co-worker who is hostile? This whole article is puzzling.

ray said...

hi Suz! see you soon

caradoc said...

Little late to the conversation here, but:

This will never work. Running to HR is a career killer if you have any ambition to be more than a low-to-mid level manager. This is why women can do this, but men can't. While they have a bit more leeway than men do due to general culture, they can't push it too far either. The main difference is, they don't really care as much -- as a general population - about their careers as men do. Find a true career-building woman, and you'll see she probably avoided HR like the plague

Anonymous said...

None shall pass!

map said...

I think a variation of this is can be used to protect yourself. Know the rules very well and get some kind of pin-hole camera based Nagar body recorder that allows you to document your encounters with people every day. You will learn to discipline your speech because you are being recorded and you may capture something useful.

Deansdale said...

"So, each time a female coworker crosses any of the clear HR-defined lines, in any way, the black knight will immediately go to his superior as well as HR and express how her behavior is making him uncomfortable and so forth."

I think more often than not it will get YOU fired.

Anonymous said...

What is the purpose of a Human Resources department?

Not to administer the provision of benefits to employees. Not to provide staffing to managers who need personnel. These are FUNCTIONS of a Human Resources department, but they are not its PURPOSE.

The purpose of a Human Resources department is to protect its company from legal trouble arising from violations of employment law. It is motivated to avoid lawsuits, and where this is not possible, to make sure the company's exposure is minimized.

The point of HR's many rules and regulations is to make it difficult to win a suit against the company. "The plaintiff's complaint about a hostile work environment is obviously not our fault, because we have a policy in place to prevent that sort of thing. It was just this one rogue manager who was ignoring policy; we have since fired him." The gavel descends; the company is blameless.

The way to change any HR policy is to show that the policy conflicts with its raison d'etre.

The details, I'll leave to you.

Jacob Ian Stalk said...

"ray" sounds like a woman. The squeal is unmistakable.

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