Thursday, July 24, 2014

Alpha Mail: a similar problem

From the inbox:
I have been married for [a few] years. I have [multiple] children with my wife who it is relevant to mention is [Asian]. We live in [the Asian country].

As far as my rank on the Game scale goes, I'd say I have a lot of gamma tendencies which were probably at their worst during high school and my early years of university. All the sort of behavior that I later learned women find unattractive was exactly the way I would act. I changed as I grew up and I lost weight, was introduced to Game, got a bit more confident and things improved. I think it is important I mention this past though because I probably display these tendencies more since marriage.

After I'd begun dating my wife one of the first things she mentioned was how I had ignored her the first time we met - something I noted as a sign of improved Game. We were fine when we dating and had a good sex life and both of us would initiate intimacy and we both usually reciprocated. This was healthy but our first year was turbulent for other reasons largely related to money. Since our first child, my wife has generally not initiated intimacy and when she didn't refuse, she became a lot more mechanical and treated it like an inconvenience. It continued on well after the birth and after our child became easier to manage.

She made the same sort of excuses mentioned by the spreadsheet man. She was tired, didn't feel like it, was sick and often stomach pains were the excuse. When I get angry or frustrated she will actually tell me I should just masturbate. She once suggested I'm treating her like a prostitute and she has also broken down with water-works when pushed. This is now just as bad after our second child was born. I should add that even her desire for a second child wasn't matched by much sexual desire towards me.

When she does reluctantly become intimate she avoids kissing me, letting me touch her breasts and sometimes keeps herself partially clothed. She more importantly doesn't seem to enjoy it and I''m not selfish or quick with her or. This has frustrated me because it is sometimes weeks or months between encounters and even when she does reluctantly do it, she is as described. Recently she's also been going to sleep early on days where we planned (around children) to be intimate.

Now since we've been married I have generally maintained a good weight, I don't drunkenly try to mount her or force her in any way. I have been given signals and even hit on by other women when at other social events, whether with friends or work related. I have always refused these advances without a thought or avoided flirting back. I naturally want the marriage to work especially with children and not a chance in hell of keeping them under the [Asian country's] legal system.

I have gone about things a few ways, I have told her explicitly that I can get what I want somewhere else if she won't. She was previously jealous of other female co-workers and friends - especially before marriage. She has responded to such suggestions by telling me I would "lose everything" if I ever did while maintaining a cold shoulder towards me.

The above was a bluff of course. I don't want to cheat on her and I would be wrong if I did but I have recently been very tempted. She still maintains the same cold attitude and I have recently been hit on by someone I am attracted to. Nonetheless I've resisted these advances but I would be lying if I didn't admit to being tempted. And this is what really worries me because I am tempted by female advances where I wasn't before. I could live with my lackluster sex life before by telling myself that the children should come first and adultery is adultery however I try to rationalize it. But as you can imagine, I am at the very least reluctant to stay married to her once my children reach maturity no matter how much it ends up costing me to leave.

The only things I can think to add are that she also belittles me, telling me I'm lazy even though I work full-time and recently got promoted. She constantly holds the children up as threats and associates not obeying her wishes as somehow not caring about the children. She plays my older child against me sometimes telling me I scare him when I am angry to her. She also uses them as excuses for not feeling like sex. A lot of our marital problems can be blamed on the lack of money flow but I don't much feel like getting more liquidity for someone that treats me like she does. Living where we live and her reluctance to move also make this a bigger problem. And despite this, we are actually quite comfortable and not lacking for anything generally speaking.
This debacle illustrates the central problem with marriage 2.0. The man simply lacks any material leverage, while the woman has the entire power of the state at her back. And unfortunately, while most women prefer to be at least a little circumspect about resorting to the leverage this gives them, the wife openly revels in her dominant position in the marriage. My strong suspicion is that she married him to avoid being married to a dominant man of her own culture and since the novelty and imagined status of the Westerner has worn off, she really doesn't want to be married to him anymore.

There are two things to keep in mind here. First, not all marital problems can be solved. Second, all strategies for addressing and attempting to solve marital problems have to be viewed in terms of estimated probabilities. It's not about knowing the magic word or striking the magic pose, but rather giving oneself the best chance of success. And sometimes that best chance is still a long shot, which appears to be the case here.

This man will have to decide what level of personal degradation he is willing to accept for the sake of being near his children. My belief, however, is that children are always secondary to the marriage. They are the fruit of the marriage, but both the husband and the wife who insist on always putting the children ahead of their marital partner are making a fatal mistake that will ultimately harm the children.

After some reflection, I think the emailer should simply return to his homeland by himself for two weeks to get his head clear. Being in foreign land is intrinsically unsettling in multiple ways. He should just go, without asking permission, without making a big deal of it, and without staying in close contact while he is gone. If she asks why he is going, he should tell her, honestly, that he is thinking of returning home and he wants to see what his employment prospects are there. No mention should be made of divorce or ending the marriage, no threats or ultimatums should be given, just a simple statement of intent.

She will probably react with dire theats. These must be met calmly and with civil resignation. "I understand, all the same, this is what I'm going to do." There is no point in explanations. She already knows perfectly well why he is considering a permanent return. And once there, he needs to seriously think upon whether he wants to continue to live his life that way or not, and if he wants his children to witness the ongoing humiliation of their father or not. There is no correct answer here, it is an intrinsically subjective call.

These ugly situations are much harder where children are involved, but to paraphrase the Biblical wisdom, he who seeks to gain his children will lose them. The only way to prevent a woman from using your children against you is to make it clear that doing so will accomplish nothing whatsoever, and since he's already made a very bad mistake of trying to bluff her, and having his bluff called, she's not going to believe any posturing on his part short of actually packing up and leaving for a time. The only way to nullify open threats such as these is to materially demonstrate their impotence.

It must be admitted that there is a chance that the woman will file for divorce during those two weeks. All he may accomplish here is to speed up the inevitable. But even that can be seen as a positive step of sorts. To be honest, this doesn't sound like a marriage so much as a wintry battleground.

One can't help but notice

Women who openly oppose feminism tend to be more attractive than feminists. One wouldn't need the signs to know which is which.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Slowly, we win

The language and the ideas of Game have gradually worked their way out into the mainstream and are now generating open concerns and opposition from post-feminist young women.
My[20F] boyfriend[21M] is being poisoned by The Red Pill. Help.

We have been together for over a year. He was/is my best friend and we've lived together for 3 years. Long story short, he has some pretty bad issues with depression (in cycles, we're thinking bipolar, he's about to start going to a new doctor to figure it out) and low self esteem. He's had this low period -> go read TRP -> feel shitty about himself for being a "beta" cycle twice so far.

He is letting a lot of their ideas affect the way that he thinks when he's in these low periods. Some examples are feeling like because he's a "beta" he has to work for something(sex) that "alpha" guys don't, and that makes him get even lower, along with feeling like I don't want him because he's a "beta" and that he (pretty much) isn't good enough for me.

He gets really sensitive to people's comments when this happens. An example is when I went to get his keys from him at work, after I walked out the door someone said "damn, who's girlfriend is that!"(I swear to god I'm nothing special, this comment is weird and uncalled for in the first place) And when people pointed to him, the first guy kinda laughed and said "that's not his girlfriend..".

How do I explain to him how horrible TRP actually is? When I say that they're assholes, he just says that there are so many of them, they must be doing something right.

He isn't sexist at all (except for some super common cultural stuff like gender roles, etc) and does not think negatively of women whatsoever, I can tell he's just looking for some way to "improve" himself because he feels so shitty.

We communicate EXTREMELY well and we have very controlled, civil conversations about this kind of stuff, but I'm at a loss about how to explain this to him or show him that TRP is living in some fairy tale world where if you're enough of an "alpha" all girls will "give" you sex 24/7. He's convinced that my semi-low (prefer sex every other day) sex drive is because he's a "beta" and I don't want him and am not attracted to him.
Translation: "my boyfriend gets depressed every time he realizes I've emasculated him by controlling our relationship and dictating every aspect of his life. How can I prevent him from being aware of the truth?" To claim that one is "poisoned by The Red Pill" is akin to claiming that one has been infected by reality. The deceiver sees The Red Pill as horrible because she can no longer continue to deceive her victims.

Remember, the core of gamma behavior is "about lying to oneself relentlessly about what's right in front of your eyes." Game is built upon a foundation of the relentless observation of the facts of human behavior. That is why Game and gamma delusions, and Game and delta assumptions, and Game and female deceptions, are intrinsically incompatible.

I don't care about this particular case, only about what it represents in the larger scheme of things. It means that the attempt by feminists and white knights and gammas-in-denial to marginalize Game as nothing but a skeezy form of misogyny has completely failed. Even a gyne-blinded young delta chump is aware that The Truth Is Out There.

This is what a step forward on the long march looks like.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Female advice and the Sex-22

It's always amusing to hear female opinions on how to solve a crisis caused by female behavior. Mostly because their first instinctive response is to deny it is a crisis:
“I think the fact that the guy communicates via a spreadsheet is the reason why he’s not getting sex,” is the verdict from relationship counsellor Francine Kaye. “If a man wants to be desired, he has to speak to a woman’s feminity. He has to stop complaining and start thinking 'What do I have to do in order for her to want to have sex?’ ”

A good start is the kind of wooing behaviour most husbands assumed they had left behind as soon as the ring was on the bridal finger. Erroneously, they think that compliments and flowers, hand-holding and general attentiveness are not just unnecessary but cheesy once they are married. Cheesy they may be, but necessary – as attested by the short shrift given to Mr Spreadsheet.
Did I not call that yesterday? What is relationship counsellor Kaye's statement, if not a retroactive justification of a woman's action. Translation: start paying attention to other women. Then she'll magically find her missing motivation. There are three things that speak to a woman's femininity.
  1. Be attractive
  2. Don't be unattractive
  3. Competition aka (1) and (2) seen through the mechanism of other women
Choreplay doesn't work. Romance doesn't work. Vacations don't work. Talk doesn't work. Men have tried those things many, many, many times. Here is why it will never work to do what a woman says you need to do in order to make her want to have sex: the moment you do what she tells you is necessary, that "creates pressure" on her to fulfill her end of the implicit bargain. And women under pressure to have sex don't want to have sex, because women don't want to have sex under pressure, ergo doing what she tells you necessarily ENSURES that she will not want to have sex.

Did you follow that? It's a Catch-22, or in this case, a Sex-22.
  1. She says she'll want to have sex if you take her to Mazatlan.
  2. You take her to Mazatlan.
  3. She is now under pressure to want to have sex.
  4. Feeling under pressure prevents her from wanting to have sex.
  5. Rinse and repeat.
So, don't bother taking her to Mazatlan. Don't waste your time on whatever women advise no matter how many women blithely recite the usual mantras. Go back to the basics. Go to the gym, improve your style, focus on your career and making more money, and either a) she'll be more attracted to you or b) someone else will.

You can't fix someone else. You can't change someone else. You can only control your own actions. If she wants spend her life as a sexless slug parked in front of a television, that's her choice and its on her. No one else.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Mortification Game

Of sex and spreadsheets. A number of people have asked me my thoughts on the woman complaining about the fact that her husband dropped a bombshell on her concerning her near-constant sexual rejection of him just as she was going on a 10-day business trip via email, including a spreadsheet that kept track of when each rejection happened and her excuse offered:
A sexually-frustrated husband compiled a spreadsheet charting a whole month’s worth of his wife’s excuses for refusing to have sex with him, including “I might be getting sick” and “I still don’t feel 100%”.

For a whole month the amorous husband jotted down every response from his other half when he asked her for intimacy, which elicited replies such as “I feel gross” and “I’m watching the show”, which he claims was a re-run of a Friends episode. The unnamed man then collated the information and put it into an excel document before emailing it to his wife as she arrived at an airport ahead of a 10-day business trip.

Excuses also include "I'm exhausted", "I need a shower" (didn't shower until next morning), "I'm trying to watch the movie" (fell asleep 15 min later) along with a few cases of not feeling too well and a number of ‘non-verbals’.

Shocked at the email, the anonymous lady tried to get in touch with her husband but found he had cut contact with her.In the end, she decided to share her husband's endeavour with users of social networking site Reddit by uploading the spreadsheet.

She then wrote: "Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone. Attached is a spreadsheet of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my "excuses", using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment."

The spreadsheet, which has since been deleted, quickly went viral with people taking both sides in the debate. Most people criticised the husband's "immaturity" and said he should have gone about it in a different way.
Thereby proving that most people are idiots. The first thing is that this spreadsheet didn't come out of the blue. It is almost surely a quintessential male response to a very typical female tactic: the demand for proof. Women often try to put men in a false "heads I win, tails you lose" position, in which they demand proof of the assertion, but if called on this demand, then try to argue that the anticipation of the need for proof somehow disqualifies its relevance. That is exactly what the wife is attempting to do here. She's trying to use that the fact he made the spreadsheet and sent it to her on the road to retroactively justify her previous actions.

Needless to say, women who exhibit this basic inability (or refusal) to grasp cause-and-effect aren't often taken seriously. Think twice before you resort to such rhetoric; even if it works, you're making yourself look like a moron.

Although apparently there are those foolish enough to buy her "tails you lose" tactic, because they are using her very "immature" language to describe her husband. But there is nothing immature about what the man is doing. It's idiotic to claim, as many have, that he should "talk to her." He's obviously been talking to her already, the spreadsheet is filled with verbatim quotes from the woman. What he's doing is calling her on her bullshit, which makes many men and women uncomfortable. After all, what will happen if women start being held accountable for their actions? We can't have that, can we? Society will implode overnight!

The woman's response, and the furious response of other women, to the husband's action demonstrate how effective it is. Remember, women always communicate strategically when speaking in general terms about sex and love; what they say can never be taken at face value but must be interpreted properly. This is clearly the first time in months that the woman has paid even the SLIGHTEST attention to what the guy thinks; it's genuinely amusing to see the various women claiming that the combination of the spreadsheet and radio silence will have a counterproductive effect when she's already a) sexually rejecting him 88.89 percent of the time and b) has left him at home while she hits the road.

The fact is that she's feeling incredibly humiliated and defensive. And since in women, defensive crouches are followed by instinctively sexual responses, if he maintains his frame, the chances are that she'll return from her trip more sexually willing than before. (Personally, I doubt he will, he'll probably contact her too soon, apologize profusely, buy her flowers, and they'll be back to their old routine within a week.) But what he has inadvertently done is to introduce Mortification Game to a worldwide audience, Mortification Game being a subset of Dread Game.

Dread Game isn't for healthy relationships, but it can temporarily improve unhealthy ones and buy them time to fix things. This spreadsheet isn't indicative of immaturity, but rather desperation combined with a desire to save his marriage while honoring his wedding vows. It would be much more effective for him to have simply gone radio silent and had sex with other women while she's gone; the sexually hypercompetitive nature of women would likely have her sensing his subsequent indifference to her deprivation upon her return. But he chose not to do that, instead he plunged once more into the gap to try to salvage what looks like a fairly hopeless cause.

The beleaguered husband doesn't deserve scorn or criticism, but the sort of sympathy one spares for the underdog. As for the wife, well, any woman who repeatedly turns down her husband because watching television repeats is more of a priority merits all the mortification and marital difficulties she subsequently experiences. I don't know if there are any relevant studies on the subject, but I hypothesize there is a very high correlation between the hours of television a wife watches and the amount of Internet porn that a married man consumes. Someone close to her needs to inform her that this isn't a game, posturing and playing the victim is not going to work here, and she needs to take responsibility for her failures as a woman and as a wife immediately or her marriage will be over.

And, by the way, for men and women alike, keep in mind that if someone ever throws something like that spreadsheet in your face, you have quite literally asked for it. Every time someone brings up a concern to you and you dismiss it for lack of proof, you set the stage for the person preparing a quasi-legal brief against you. Never resort to the idiotic rhetoric of claiming that unless the other person can prove it, it never happens, because that is ignoring the obvious logic that SOMETHING upset the other person enough to cause them to bring up the subject with you.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The future of fat people

The eternal search for the celebration of female unattractiveness:
“WOW. Did I vastly underestimate women’s need to see ‘imperfect’ bodies just doing regular, human stuff,” Trout wrote in a follow-up to her original piece, which ran in longer form on the Huffington Post over the holiday weekend. “Not only am I getting messages going, ‘You’re helping me with my personal stuff,’ but the support I’m getting is overwhelming.… Obviously, that’s not why I posted the article, it’s a broader social commentary (the point of which was that it doesn’t matter how you look, you’re still entitled to wear whatever you want and be comfortable doing it), but the fact that I’ve received more of those messages than negative ones makes me really hopeful for the future of fat people.”
This is like a bunch of unemployed male slobs celebrating each other's slovenly laziness. They can celebrate it all they like. They can empower themselves by posting pictures on Facebook. And it's not going to make a single woman more attracted to any of them.

I think it's fine for a fat woman to wear a bikini if she wants to. I mean, she might run the risk of getting harpooned by a passing whaler, but as long as she's not doing it in the vicinity of any Japanese or Norwegian ships, she should be safe enough.

It's not men who care if fat women wear bikinis or not. We're not horrified, for the most part, we think it's funny. It's other women who make a big deal of it anyhow. I hope the future of fat people is fat, dumb, and happy, that's certainly to be preferred to seeing them weeping pathetically over their extra-large bags of Doritos.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Art and the social hierarchy

The occasional Picasso aside, I've noticed that most artists tend to rank very low on the socio-sexual hierarchy, almost a melange of Gamma, Omega, and Lambda. This sort of weirdly childish behavior is so common among them that I soon learned to closely examine every texture in our video games in order to detect and order removed the more egregious portrayals of sex and genitalia:
Fashion chain Next has taken a baby grow off its shelves after customers noticed it was covered in penis drawings. Shane Gallivan, 23, was feeding his 10-month-old twin daughters Evelyn and Amelia at home in Bulwell, Nottingham, when he spotted an unusual shape in their baby grows' 'washing line' design. After looking closer, he uncovered what he believes is the drawing of a penis in the image of a green jumper. He then examined the rest of his daughters' baby grows and found lots of different penis images covering their arms, legs and bodies.
I can't exaggerate how common this sort of thing is. Once your eye is trained to see it, you can identify it everywhere. We were on a flight a while back, and I pointed out to Spacebunny the seven penises that were portrayed in the clouds on the box OF THE FREAKING CHILDREN'S MEAL, including one that was ejaculating. I wish I'd saved it; it was even more egregious than the baby grows pictured in the article.

The manufacturer claims: "This is an innocent mistake that had not been picked up in the approval process."

Innocent on the manufacturer's part, perhaps. Not on the artist's.